


Knave of Diamonds

by DragonSilk



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: F/M, Flirting, Gen, Humor, Revenge, swindling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 11:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9817370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonSilk/pseuds/DragonSilk
Summary: As a newcomer to Riften, you don't know anything about Brynjolf before approaching his stall in the market. All you know is that he's handsome.Then he calls you a pretty lass, and the accent turns your knees to mush.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I found this on my computer when I was organizing all my writing, and I do not remember writing this. I mean I must have since it was in my writing folder but I don't even know. 
> 
> I'm posting it because I thought it was kind of a fun read, but at this time, I have no plans to move forward with it.

When you first ventured into the Riften market, you were looking for a jeweler. To get you to move out to Riften, your father bribed you with the money for a new necklace, and you were ready to go shopping. It was a nice escape from unpacking boxes.

The marketplace was new and interesting despite its small size. You glanced around at the four stalls in the center of the market, and your attention immediately landed on the man with reddish-brown hair. You spent a moment studying him before he turned to look in your direction.

Not wanting to get caught staring, you turned and faced the closest stall. It ended up being full of armor and weapons. Nothing that you happened to be interested in buying.

“Are you going to buy something or just stand there?”

You forgot about the attractive man in the face of such a rude shopkeeper. You were sure that you were gaping at the woman. “Are you... having a bad day or something?” Okay, yes that was rude, but you couldn't help it.

“I'm only nice to people who buy my goods. Buy something or move out of the way.”

You backed away from the stall. You could take a hint. As you turned away from the armor stall, you glanced back at the attractive man across the way. He was currently talking to an older woman, and you hoped that he was too busy to notice the way you eyed him instead of his wares as you approached his stall. You tried to  _ pretend _ that you were looking at his wares, but you didn't know if you were stealthy enough. It was hard to look anywhere else when you had such a prime specimen of a man in front of you. The farmboys at your old town had nothing on him.

There was an exchange of money for goods before the woman left, and he finally turned his attention to you. “Now aren't you a pretty lass!”

You smiled, probably blushing, and looked down at the counter to avoid meeting his gaze.

“Are you new to town or just visiting? I know I would remember a face like yours.”

You forced yourself to look him in the eyes and smile. “Yes. My father just moved here.” You introduced yourself, holding out your hand.

“So lass, what are you in the market for today?”

His question reminded you that you were shopping for a reason. You looked down at his wares, hoping that he sold jewelry. It would be convenient for you if he were a jeweler. No such luck. He didn't have any jewelry in his stall.

That didn't mean you couldn't talk to him about his wares. “Just browsing,” you lied. Then you pointed at a brightly colored bottle. “What is that?”

“Troll fat.”

You studied his face, and tried to decide whether or not he was joking with you. “Why would anyone buy that?”

He picked up a bottle. “Haven't you heard? Applying troll fat to your skin makes it smoother and brighter. Anyone can become more attractive just by applying some every night.” He looked you over and winked. “But someone as beautiful as you are has no use for something like this.”

You weren't sure what to say to that and you looked down at your feet. Were all the men in Riften this charming?

A response was unnecessary. He continued speaking after his momentary pause. “No, it would be a crime to sell any of this to you. None of the other women in this town would ever be able to compete with you and all the men would fall under your spell.”

You glanced back at him out of the corner of your eyes. You wouldn't mind if  **he** fell under your spell. Even up close, he was an attractive man. His blue eyes sparkled with mischief, and he looked like the sort of man who could take care of himself, even out in the wilderness. You idly wondered what sort of weapon he favored. You could tell a lot about a man just by what sort of weapon he used.

“I think I'd like to try some.”

He leaned on the counter of his stall. “Are you sure? Your beauty might be overwhelming after this.”

“Please?”

You struck a deal with him and bought a bottle of troll fat before moving on to the jewelry vendor. Despite buying the troll fat, you still had plenty of money for a decent ring. Perhaps not a gold diamond ring, but you could still afford something nice.

The jeweler turned out to be Argonian who called himself Madesi. You talked to him briefly as you admired his jeweled circlets. Madesi was full of things to say about the man you just bought the troll fat from, and you wanted to hear all about him. Since you were actually going to buy something, Madesi was eager to talk to you. You found out a few interesting details. The attractive vendor's name was Brynjolf, and he was rumored to be a member of the thieves guild. He apparently sold different products every week, and Madesi sounded more than a little bitter when he mentioned the popularity of Brynjolf's stall.

You glanced at Brynjolf once more before leaving the market with your new ring and troll fat. If he was a member of the thieves guild, you wouldn't mind. He could pick the lock on your bedroom window any time he wanted.

 

\-----

 

The troll fat completely ruined your skin. The damage wasn't permanent, thank the gods, but a few days after using it, your skin began to look shiny and greasy. Then bumps began to appear all over your face. You stopped using it immediately.

You were completely furious. The fact that a  _ man _ charmed you into buying such an awful product drove you into a rage. He probably didn't really think you were attractive. How dare he flirt with you just to get you to buy something! You wanted to hunt him down and yell at him for being such a jerk.

Except you refused to leave your house in your current state. This was a new town, and you needed to make sure that all your first impressions were good impressions. So you stayed home until your face was completely smooth again.

Each day that you spent stuck in your room so nobody would see you just increased your anger. Every day was a day that you could have spent making new friends. You began to spend that time plotting revenge instead.

You kept the bottle of troll fat. You had plans for that bottle. Plans that involved pouring it all over Brynjolf's smug face.

 

\-----

Once your face was completely smooth, you started your hunt for Brynjolf. At first, you didn't expect it to be too difficult. You planned to go to his stall in the market during business hours, dump the troll fat over his head, yell at him a little, and then storm off with your head held high. It would be a moment that everyone would remember. You would go down in Riften's history as the woman who finally got back at the swindler known as Brynjolf.

Except he wasn't in the market. His stall was completely empty. You swallowed a curse and tried to think of alternatives. If he was out of town, you were going to buy a horse and chase him down. He couldn't escape your wrath.

“Good day, friend. Are you finally going to buy that circlet you were eyeing?”

You turned to find Madesi holding out a circlet. It was a pretty circlet, but you didn't have the money on you at the moment. “Not today.” You recalled that Madesi seemed to know a bit about Brynjolf. “Do you happen to know where Brynjolf is?”

Madesi frowned. “Did you want to buy something from  _ him _ ?” His tone was hostile.

“No. He's a jerk. I'm never buying anything from him again.” You pulled out your bottle of troll fat. “I just wanted to dump this on him.”

Madesi grinned, showing off his rows of fangs. “I think I might be able to help out. He's probably in the thieves guild. You can get there through the Ratway. If you want, I can point you to a few mercenaries to escort you there.”

“How dangerous is the Ratway?”

Madesi seemed to consider your question. “I've never been down there myself, but everyone knows that it's full of thieves and lowlifes. It isn't a place for anyone decent.”

“I should be fine.” You had more than a few tricks up your sleeve. “Thanks!”

It was time to go home and change. You couldn't wear a dress while you invaded the Thieves Guild.

Once upon a time, you lived in a tiny village that was often invaded by bandits. Because of them, you already had armor and weapons. You weren't a world class fighter, but you could manage to get through the Ratway. That was assuming that your invisibility potions didn't get broken during your move to Riften.

You changed into your light armor. Nobody else was home, and you were grateful for that. You didn't want them to ask why you were taking all of the invisibility potions out of the cabinet, or why you needed your daggers for a simple walk around town.

The moment you entered the Ratway you drank the first potion before drawing one of your daggers. The potion would make you invisible, but people could still hear you. If they ran into you, they would know that you were there. You needed to be ready just in case you were caught.

The Ratway wasn't nearly as busy as you expected. You had to kill a skeever that could smell you, but otherwise it was an easy jaunt. Even if the area smelled disgusting.

You quickly began to worry that you wouldn't find the guild or that you wouldn't know it when you found it, but then you stumbled across an underground bar.

There were too many of them for you to have any chance of taking them, but there were less of them than you expected. Your original plan was to attempt to blend in with the guild until you found Brynjolf. Now you reconsidered that plan. With so few people present, they might realize that you didn't belong to the guild.

You looked at your potions. You  **could** stay invisible until you found Brynjolf, but only if you found him quickly. If he wasn't here, then you wouldn't have another chance to come down here for a long time as you restocked your potions, but you decided to take the risk. You stayed as close to the wall as possible as you edged around the room and toward the group of people near the bar.

Brynjolf was there! He was casually sitting at a table, his red hair making him easy to spot. You carefully sheathed your daggers before pulling out all of the Troll Fat. There were a few people around so you were going to have to be careful. You tried not to get to close to anyone as you crept closer and closer to Brynjolf.

Gently you pulled the stopper out of the bottle. You raised the bottle over Brynjolf's head and tilted it. The troll fat was thick and goopy, so you had to shake the bottle a little before a huge wad of fat began to fall. You gleefully watched as it dropped down onto Brynjolf's head.


End file.
